Just a Kiss
by bluegoldrose
Summary: Sometimes a kiss is nothing but a curiosity, and nothing more than just a kiss. Sometimes the job is just too much to handle on your own. response to Dani's last two episodes.
1. Just a Kiss

Just a Kiss 

_"You must remember this  
A kiss is still a kiss  
A sigh is still (just) a sigh  
The fundamental things apply  
As time goes by…"  
--__Frank Sinatra _

_Elliot_

A kiss can be passion and desire, or a kiss can be a wish; a wish for something intangible, a want for something unattainable. I took her arm and drew her close, a quick kiss, a desire fulfilled. Curiosity, maybe nothing more, just one of the random effects of life—of this job. She responded with some tentativeness, but then there was no fear. A kiss and a caress, but then a phone call, several times. It was just a kiss; interrupted by life, a wish for something unknown. She is very much like me, passionate and strong willed, a curiosity for me. No attachment came from that kiss, but I wonder what would have happened if our kiss had continued that night.

_Danni _

Attraction is a curious thing, sometimes in is one way, sometimes it is mutual. The curiosity that comes from wanting to know what something would be like is sometimes never fulfilled. Yet when he kissed me and I kissed him, that curiosity grew. From a quick kiss, to a deeper one, holding one another close. I laughed when our phones and pagers rang, it seemed like some things I would never know. When we left, it was over, a moment that passed into the cold night. I was curious, he was curious; and sometimes that is all that is needed for a kiss, and sometimes a kiss is just a kiss. Yet I wonder where else that kiss could have gone.

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Please R&R.  
This is my first SVU fic (not my first fanfic) I like the show, and I don't like how people overreacted to this kiss, so I thought that I could write a short POV piece to make the scene seem benign. 


	2. Just a Thought

Just a continuation of the first part, I'm going to write one more chapter. It's not shippy, but more on the side of realism. Please R&R, even if it's a dislike (ps, I can see how many come to this page--369 for ch.1). I'm not pro or against ships in this show, so I hope that as readers you can come to this story with open minds. Thank you to my four reviewers of the first chapter (I put more notes to you at the bottom of this chapter)

Part of my mind keeps going to the play 'Into the Woods'--"a moment is just a moment in the woods, isn't it?"

This chapter is at the end of the episode the previous chapter mentions.

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Just A Thought

_Elliot_

Why did she leave? What must she be feeling? Taking a life isn't easy, she may not know how to cope. She may not understand why we kissed, I know that I don't understand why we kissed. Perhaps: need, desire, curiosity...all three are very dangerous emotions.  
_Need:  
_Need for closeness when feeling lonely--making one reach out to the first other person who feels the same way or will just listen. Needing to know that someone else knows what you're going through, needing not to be alone. Needing to touch another, needing to feel love.  
_Desire:  
_Desire for something that existed once--a relationship...relationships. The desire to hold a woman close and tell her that she is loved--a wife..separated. The desire to speak of things of years past, the desire to see the face of a dear friend--Olivia...they became too close...it was dangerous for them in their job. I was becoming too close again...  
_Curiosity:  
_Curiosity in wondering what may happen from an attraction, a kiss. Curiosity in seeing someone who is a different version of yourself. In wondering what it would be like to live a different life.  
She says she needs to walk, she may just need time to figure things out... I should take time to figure things out...

_Dani_

Why did I leave him? What must he have thought? I cannot answer the latter, but the first... Too many emotions were flooding my mind, too many thoughts, and images.  
_Emotions:_  
Adrenaline, causing my heart to race like a hummingbird's wings. The car driving towards me, shooting and killing to save my life. Running--chasing the girl and her 'daddy' I believe she called him.  
Confusion, making me wonder where to go with my life, my career. This job is too intense for me; I become too emotionally involved. I become emotionally involved with my partner... We never got a chance to talk about our kiss--our minds had gone back to focusing on our job.  
Need: to have someone to share my life with, anyone to talk to about my pains. I miss him--my husband. I need someone to fill the void left by his death. I need someone to talk to, someone to hold at the end of the day.  
_Thoughts:  
_Of death--my husband's and this man's. Of life and lives--so many in this city, this country, this world. Of loves and passions both pure and base--the kinds faced in this job and outside of this job. Of hate--my hate of crime and the hate that causes crime.  
_Images:  
_The man in the car, with blood dripping down his chest--from the bullets that had come from my gun. Kissing Elliot a few hours earlier. The girl nearly falling to her death. And darker thoughts... of seeing the car hitting me...or the girl falling and dying... or Elliot and I...  
I needed to get away, to sort things out in my mind. I couldn't let Elliot drive me home. I couldn't let him close. I couldn't be alone with him. So I walked into the crisp night air...and hours later arrived home.

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So, there is only one chapter left (Dani leaving). If you think this kinda makes a big deal out of everything, the next chapter explains a little more. 

Thank you to my reviewers-- you were all smart enough to realize that a kiss can just be a kiss (and coming from some EO story writers, that's cool!):

GirlSummer OhSix Roxx- I actually commented back to you, but thank you again for your review, and for telling me how to spell Dani : ) yep, a kiss can be not a big thing (yeah, this fic kinda makes it that way, but the next chapter explains that)

tamasit1- thanks!

csifreak04- I was considering adding more chapters before you suggested it, I just take awhile to get around to things.

intheclosetromantic- I liked your story, it's in my favs I believe. There were (and still are...) fans that overreacted to the whole thing. People in law enforcement develop very fast and deep emotional attachments to each other... that's kinda the point the show had with Dani and Elliot, and why Olivia left. That's also the point the story brings out.


	3. Just a Job

Just a Job 

_Dani _

I can't stay here, even though part of me wants to stay. He won't say he wants me to stay, and I can't blame him for that. Yet inside I know he wants me to be there, the same way that I want to be there. I can't stay in this job, it won't work. I can't stay because of an emotional attachment. He's _married_, I shouldn't be attracted to him. Not that marriage has stopped many in this profession from stepping over the line with their partner.

I've heard stories, and seen it happen, a man and woman work together for years, dealing with one case after another. They grow away from their families and non-work friends. Then, they become close to their co-workers and obsessed with their cases. Until one day, something happens at home or at work, and sometimes at both, that drives them into one another's arms. I've seen marriages end because of affairs between co-workers.

It's a high stress, emotionally draining job that takes everything a person has and won't give back. So a man and a woman who work together for years, or even a short time, as detectives become close—as any two colleagues would—but the job is taxing emotionally and both become withdrawn from the ones they love…and grow closer to one another. That's the danger of this job, withdrawing from some and growing close to others, until something happens to push you over the line with _that someone_, whomever it may be, in a working relationship. And that is probably why she left, Olivia, she and Elliot were becoming too close. So he is hurting emotionally from his separations—first his wife, and then his friend—and someone he can relate to comes along…

I can't believe I didn't see it before. We needed to be close to someone, _anyone,_ and the first person we find is in the same state as we are. Not a good combination.

I can't handle the victims, so I can't handle the job. I can't handle my own baggage, so I can't have a healthy relationship with my partner. I need to find stability before I can have a job like this.

The little girl…I still want to help her. Yet I don't know if she can be helped. Just like I don't know if I can be helped…or if Elliot can be helped.

He never said goodbye…I never gave him the chance.

_Elliot _

It may be a good thing that she is leaving, but she'll always stay with me. Goodbye Dani.

**THE END**

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Thank you for your reviews, I liked them a lot.  
Thank you to the 106 people who made it to chapter 2.  
This was a very interesting story to write, because I've never written like this before. I hope you liked this perspective on how some relationships develop. I also hope that you realize the difference between a shippy fic and a rationalization story (this was the latter).

Eventually I'm writting a story that will ship Dani/Elliot (but it's a cross-over with a CSI fic I'm writing so it'll stay in that story). If the mood ever strikes me I may write Elliot/Olivia, but I never can say what I'll write and when.

Again, thank you to everyone who has read this story (even if you didn't review). As I said, I accept all reviews, as long as they make sense.


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